"Dreaded Duo" of Maroney and Stallworth show their wild and crazy
By John Ingoldsby
August 15, 2007
FOXBORO, Mass. -- They may not have quite the comedic talents of Dan Aykroyd
and Steve Martin, but the "Dreaded Duo" of Laurence Maroney and Donte
Stallworth are two wild and crazy guys.
The dreadlocked Maroney, who hails from East St. Louis as opposed to Eastern
Europe like the former Saturday Night Live tandem, showed his class clown persona
at Patriots Training Camp yesterday, when he injected himself into the middle
of a media scrum with fellow dreadlockee Stallworth, sparking a hilarious slapstick
session with the free-agent receiver.
As referenced recently in this space, Maroney and his jester nature are bursting
on the scene this preseason with practically the same impact that he demonstrated
with his running talent when he arrived last August.
The result after the afternoon practice was the potential birth of a new NFL
Tag Team, without inferring that the tandem is talking their act to the WWE
like their football brethren Adam "Pacman" Jones.
No, teaming up this pair in Gillette Stadium this fall will be just fine, thank
you, and if they mesh on the field the way they do off it, the Patriots just
might deliver on the preseason hype and win their fourth Super Bowl in seven
But we digress from yesterday's proceedings, where the stage was set for the
surreal scene when Stallworth introduced his little friend when asked if he
had to set ego aside playing for the Patriots.
"I've never had an ego. I've got an Alter Ego, but he's not here right
now," the Tennessee product pronounced. "His name is Nicco, spelled
N-I-C-C-O, A lot of people know him, some people don't. He's a good guy with
a lot of friends. When I am working, he is not around anywhere. I sent him off
to Mars, so he's on Mars right now. You are now talking to Donte."
That act was quickly followed by Maroney poking his head into the circle of
media surrounding Stallworth, prompting number 18 to fire the opening salvo
by remarking jokingly, "Laurence Maroney, he's the worst."
|The "Dreaded Duo"of Laurence Maroney and Donte Stallworth conduct their comedy routine for the media after Tuesday's practice.
(Photo John Ingoldsby PatriotsInsider.com)
And the comedy debut of the Dreaded Duo was on. Snippets from the exchange,
all in jest of course, include:
Maroney: "He (Donte) thinks he is badder than everybody."
Stallworth: "He was mad because they (new Madden video game) had him at a 91
speed. They had me and Randy (Moss) higher."
Maroney: "Me and Madden are going to have to have a meeting. They got
to get me right, no way in the world his (Donte's) speed should be at 97."
Stallworth: "I have been 97 since I have been in the league."
Maroney: "You is slow."
When having a race was suggested by a reporter, Maroney fired back, "No,
I don't want him (Donte) to pull his hamstring again."
And when a question was raised on who is faster, Maroney stated, "If you
take combine times, you have to go with pie guy right here. But I didn't run
at the combine, I pulled a hamstring too."
Looping back to his EA speed rating, Maroney added, "I would just tell
Madden to upgrade me a little bit, get me right. I am at least a 95. Madden
is wrong, he hasn't watched you (Donte) in awhile. He couldn't, not since you
have been with us. Unless you did something with the Eagles. I haven't seen
no 95, 97 out here today. Have you all? Be honest. You are the reporters, be
honest. You got to keep it real and uncut."
And who's the better player?
After an exchange of "He is, He is," the pair got serious and observed.
Maroney: "I like his (Donte's) game. He is one of those big-play guys,
who can open things up for me with the rest of the receiving corp. and the team.
If we work together, we can come out here and do some big things."
And Donte's response as to what Maroney brings to the team?
"A red jersey," he quipped referring to Number 39's red no-contact
jersey he has worn all preseason. But then he added, "No, Laurence is a
hard worker. He is going to run real hard. If he gets to the outside, it's over
for a lot of guys. If I was out there playing defense, then I would have to
run him down."
Maroney: "If I had five yards on Donte, he might as well stop running."
But on Maroney's size, Donte said, "You are 240"
Maroney fired back, "No, no, no. I'm 218, get me right. I am a possession
back, just give me the ball. I'll pull a TO. You finish your interview and I'll
And off Maroney went, prompting Donte and his alter ago Nicco to say, "I
think I'm done."
And down came the curtain on the Dreaded Duo's opening act.
Will there be a sequel? Who knows, but after that premiere, Patriots Nation
will be waiting for the next show, both on and off the field.
John Ingoldsby has covered the New England Patriots for various publications
the past 13 years. He started covering the NFL for newspapers in the 1970s.
John is a member of the Professional Football Writers of America. You can find
him on the Patriots Insider boards under the handle Rudiee.
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